little girl with umbrella

(image)

I know a little girl who doesn’t like mother’s day. I think her world is cruel to force her to celebrate it when she clearly does not want to.

At school, she was forced to make a card for mother’s day. She didn’t want to.

She thought: if her friends wanted to make cards for their mothers, they can go ahead.

But can they leave her alone?

Oh yes, for weeks the TV and papers were going on and on about Mother’s Day.

As if there’s nothing else to celebrate. Over the years, she has gotten used to it. It does not upset her anymore.

She took the piece of paper and started to draw.

“Happy Grandma Day” she wrote, in her ten year old writing. She colored the words in red.

Her grandma is old so she may not read well. She had to bold the letters to make it more clear.

Then she drew little flowers and butterflies, and even a little cake topped with ten little candles.

Because she knows her grandma likes flowers. She often tends to her little garden, talk to her orchids and water her plants.

And while she was thinking all these and making plans about how to give this card to her grandma, her teacher snatch the card from her and screamed:

“Are you deaf or what? This is Mother’s Day. It is not Grandma’s Day! Now make a card for your mother!”

The little girl got scared and felt tears sting her eyes. But she refused to show her teacher how frail she was.

Instead she snatch the card back from her teacher and shreded it into pieces.

Then she flung it into the air, and let every piece fall around her like leaves.

Her teacher gave her a tight slap. Ouch!

She was then dragged out of her chair and sent to the Student Detention Class.

She did not mind. She did not care. It was better to be here than to be around people who did not understand how she felt.

How could she make a card for her mother when she did not know the woman?

She doesn’t remember how she looked like nor does she know her name.

She put that thought aside, and her grandma’s face came into sight.

She smiled. And wondered if her grandma had cooked her favourite meal.

Note: I know today is Mother’s Day. I wish all my friends who are mothers, a Happy Mother’s day. Today, however, I’d like to remember those who do not fancy celebrating Mother’s Day because they find no meaning in it. I know, it’s sad. But that’s the reality. We need to be sensitive to such people – those who do not have mothers and those whose mothers have left them, for some reason or another. For these people, my heart goes out to you.

Many a time, society’s thoughts flow on a one way street. We forget, not everyone is as lucky as us. Or as fortunate.

I know many teachers are not sensitive. The incident of that little girl actually happenned and it makes me sad to think that these are educators, and if they can’t accept one who is different, how can they educate our kids?

In my family, there is such a little girl, who find it hard to celebrate Mother’s Day. We try to tell her that she has a grandma and a godmother who loves her very much. And that, she is just as special as anybody else.

20 responses »

  1. machitam says:

    Dear Susan,
    Today, I have watched a few mother’s day movie in ASTRO. Some are very touching and most of them are. If you had watched Gracie’s choice….about a elder half-sister sacrificing her youth life playing a role as a mother to her siblings. because she has a mother who is a drug addict and moving around with her ever changing boyfriends. she had used the social service money for her to enjoy life with her boyfiends and drug. She had neglected the children(5 siblings(2 daughters(elders) and three sons(11,9&7) …
    you’ll know that a mother is not neccessary a biological mother. as your case above, it portrayed an unqualified 5th grade teacher who do not understand the significant of a mother’s day, father’s day etc.

    On your story above, a grandmother or a foster mother is mother if she care for you as a mother shall care for you…..

    Writing Mother’s day card is just an act of reminding and wishing. but a mother actions of sacrificing her life to care and protect for you is a noble act which priceless….

  2. Kancilandak says:

    My mother tell me 50 or 60 years ago, there no mother day father’s day teacher’s day or even Veletnine day. She suprised how now got all kind of days. She say there only one importent labour day evryone must celibate. Anyways happy mother’s day to all mums.

  3. Pozdny says:

    wiki anna jarvis and learn something bout mother’s day…

  4. Deceived by Color says:

    It’s the ‘womb’ that makes them the ‘mother’.I understand, that for some innocent children, it became their ‘tomb’-their dead-end, even before they had begun in life. Saddest story for mankind!

    Many children had given up hope in life after that abandonement, negligence,carelessness,torture and abuse on the part of parents.

    These are the broken lives that somehow make it in life but most fail miserably without this close family support. But,the miracle of life is that someone else will be kind to them instead.Nothing wrong if someone else takes that role.Maybe, it’s a divine arrangement for rewarding people who go beyond their call of duty. Grand salute to all the orphanages and temporary shelters and their volunteers who have sacrificed their lives for others.

  5. monsterball says:

    To me…everyday is mother’s day.
    I love her so much and pray to her..everyday.
    May her soul rest in peace.
    Yes…To all who have living mothers….never forget how she suffered and sacrificed so much for you.
    To those like me….Mom is gone from Earth….I hope your have non stop loving memories of her…like me.
    If you believe in the spirit world….she is dead…like mine..then you should believe your mother is still needing love and affections from her living children.
    I can still feel my mother is near me at times.

  6. blong says:

    We do not need Mother’s Day. It’s just a business people’s invention to perk up businesses. Everyday is a mother’s day.

  7. Gadfly says:

    Mother or mother-figure(or father or any primary care-giver) has much influence over our life than we imagine. The effects on our personality development has far-reaching effects. As what Bowlby had said, “..he builds up working models of how attachment figures are likely to behave towards him in any of a variety of situations; and on those models are based all his expectations, and therefore all his plans, for the rest of his life.”

    To those who refuse to comply with the expectation of their mothers, it must be a long and bitter struggle. Hence, we see much of mother-daughter or mother-son relationship conflicts can be sad or tragic. But, the mothers’ expectation need to be contextualize in the social-cultural values of the community she lives in. The mother’s pattern of behaviour,attitudes, beliefs could come from the mother’s mother. And it passes on from children to children’s children.

    For those who enjoy a secure childhood, the attachment forms a secure base for the child to explore the world. For those who don’t, they may have mental health issues later in life.

    Hence, a Mother’s Day may mean A Mother-figure/Father or Father-figure/Significant – Other Day i.e. a day to remember anyone who is significant in our life. A biological mother does not by itself makes mother sacrosant. But, qualities like not giving up on the children in extreme poverty or when all hopes are dashed for them to lead a normal life again does.

  8. se says:

    Thanks, Susan!

    Hugs to our little darling🙂 She’s an independent thinker who can see hypocrisy clearly!

  9. hunk says:

    I love u mum, always. Wow Monty, your message is quite inspiring.

  10. Nicely put.. the story given well illustrated the whole picture of those who never felt like celebrating Mothers day even when almost the whole world is.

    Eventhough i am blessed with a mom, still i feel the pain from the healed scars of the little girl.

  11. PeoplePower says:

    This is the problem happen in our educational system!

    Only teach the students to celebrate Mother’s Day and never teach the students to be sensitive to such people – those who do not have mothers and those whose mothers have left them, for some reason or another.

    Sad Sad Sad

  12. wits0 says:

    “For those who enjoy a secure childhood, the attachment forms a secure base for the child to explore the world. For those who don’t, they may have mental health issues later in life.” – Gadfly

    Very true, but few normal people realize that ; the normally fortunate ones merely presume that their next contemporary also have the same deal as themselves and that is the invariable norm. That’s an almost automatic human complacency.

    People makes conventions and rules but leave no room for exceptions. It being easier to be thus blind also in order to enforce matters as conventions dictate. This being so seemingly correct a thing to do and a lazier convenient deal.

    Even in my schooling days e.g., there is e.g., that strict observances of punctuality in arriving at school(no animals such as school buses then) or else detention class. The school prefects at the gate will just smirkingly take down your name as their duty dictates. Normally nothing wrong unless you so happen to live 7 miles from school and has to cycle there everyday, rain or shine. There is no apparent sight of our society’s effort to make allowance for extenuating circumstance for different people. In today’s educational stress of hyping on after school sports activities the same blind insensitivity continues. So easy to make blind(blanket) and insensitive rules and get them enforced without feelings. Bodohland legacy.

    A person who gets stressed at childhood is likely experience adverse effects(often unconsciously) later on although the degree and expression vary greatly. It takes great personal effort to ameliorate the effect some of these hidden stresses. Some succeed to a degree, others can fail and transmit the same onwards.

  13. Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, etc…, etc…., is just an exploitation of making money out of it……!!!

    Flowers become very costly, restaurants & pubs cash in on it, gifts ARE expected, etc…, etc……….

    I am not against it….! Why only on these particular “Days” that anyone or anything should be remembered….????

    What about the rest of the days in a year…???????????????

    We should be “bless”…, those that still have parents & love.
    And also those children that the parents still want them………..!!

    What about orphanages…….???
    They don’t even know “who” their parents are….., let alone “love”…..!!!

    Yes…!
    I do go visit them once a while…!
    Next trip I’ll just “hug” them…………………………………….!

  14. TJ says:

    She may be the little girl, but she knows what’s dear to her heart and shows her affection openly. This is so much better then the ever commercialised “show off” celebrations.

  15. wits0 says:

    The story of this little girl is a poignant one. It demonstrates how a herdish society promoted by a lazy compliance seeking governance can further make it blind to the nameless unfortunates.

    MahaKutty through condemning individualism with the pretentious reference to Eastern values in favour of compliance, not only stunted creativity and competitiveness but stifle awareness, understanding and compassion for the not so fortunate. Yet at same time the gomen spoke of being “prihatin” (caringness) – ringing so unabashedly hollow.

  16. queequeg says:

    Very touching story indeed. Thanks Susan for the heads up. I pity the teacher who is insensitive to reality. She is living in a cloistered, idealistic world where everything is alright and everyone in this world knows & loves their parents. I pray that the child will grow up stronger mentally & physically, be resilient in facing adversity and learn from that painful lesson so that when she becomes a mother she will never abandon the child.
    My late mother passed away in 2003 after a short illness. I always took for granted that she will live until old age before that. The point is: If you have a mom never take her for granted. Everyday is a mother’s day when you show your grattitude & love to her. I know that she’s in a better place & I always pray for her..Always in my memories dearest Mak..

  17. rebel says:

    There are some educators who are sensitive to those without Mum and Dad. I lost my mother when i was six years old, and my teachers always encouraged me to make a card for the person I view as my mother. but in my heart I had none, so I made a card every year for my mother and i believed that she will ‘drop’ by to see my card by my bedside. till today, I believe my Mum is beside, and at this age I have funally said goodbye to her but being a Mum i think she will always ‘drop’ by to see me from time to time:)

    My daughter has no dad, she has never met him and probably will not meet him as the circumstances are such. But I am blessed that she goes to a school which understands her and treats her well when Father’s Day is around the corner. She makes the card,gives it to me and in her world I am her mother and father. and last year one of her teacher sat with her and spoke to my daughter on her own experiences growing up without a dad.

  18. Only a mother knows the sacrifices of a mother.

  19. Kee says:

    my cousin said they were taking their mother out for makan because it was a Mother’s Day yesterday.

    she asked whether I took my mother out ?

    i replied, “NO.”

    She said, “Why?”

    I replied, “Every day is a Mother’s day la !!!”

    Comment: Not necessary we have to take our Mothers out for makan on this particular day where i believe the restaurants and the hotels charge more.

    my couin’s mother has been sick for the past one year but she and her siblings have been unkind to their mother throughout the one year period and now she is asking me why i didnt take my mom out for makan.

    i was thinking her mom who is my aunty would appreciate more if they all (my cousins) could be a bit more understanding, and be a bit gentler and more kind to thier mom .

    Just wonder she has the appetite to enjoy her dinner.

    Happy Mother’s Day, anyway !!!

  20. kookaburra says:

    “Only a mother knows the sacrifices of a mother.”

    Like Maryam Farhat, known as Um Nidal or the ‘Mother from Hell.’ National Geographic interviewed her and apparently she’s preparing more ‘martyrs’ for us. Let’s go to the videotape.

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