This is a good joke I thought to share with you. It reminds me of all the bruhaha surrounding the protest against teaching science and mathematics in English. Still, it was absurd for riot police to shoot them with tear gas and the arrests. I guess that’s just what they are: ‘riot’ police, as it seems they are the cause for riots, not anyone else.

Enjoy this:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English’ .

In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

41 responses »

  1. Anonymous says:

    Ha ha ha

  2. mancheng says:

    you called it, ‘a big bru haha’…my heart bleeds an ocean…think people think!

  3. Lochos Vestu says:

    BRILLIANT!!!

    Creeps up like a cancer, and before you know it, you’re converted!

  4. rainstorm says:

    So funny Susan. I had a good laugh ….

  5. Nitin says:

    Nice, but it is a little dated, have read this about a year ago.. still makes form a good laugh early in the day🙂, btw, spell bruhaha as brouhaha.. ye olde faithful english..lol

  6. kittykat46 says:

    Kakakakakaka……I had a good laugh…God knows we need one right now…

    Thanks, Susan…

  7. dragon says:

    Very funy susan. Do you think this wil happen…ha ha ha he

  8. […] | Had a good laugh with this piece of joke… copied directly without permission from here… The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the […]

  9. eeyaw says:

    Susan,
    “These people can’t see the trees from the forest”!
    The issue is not whether the 2 subjects are taught in English or BM or Swahili as if I care. It’s the case of the shitty education system that is cause of the problem, most evidently the role of profiling instead of meritocracy. That’s the reason why most Chinese sent their kids to Chinese schools & most kids have tuition classes.

  10. Dr. Lim Kheng Yeik says:

    See sell see sell on de see-saw.

    Quote : “I will pursue for a law degree as for a doctor to (pursue through education) become a lawyers id easy than a lawyer to become a doctor”.

    That is of course, if a Magistrate will understand what I am mumbling about. I just f*ucki’ hope I have never prescribe the wrong medication.

  11. bamboo river© says:

    Siu tou ngor lok tei!

  12. mahyuddin says:

    Ha Ha Ha sound like reading english and pronounce in bahasa

  13. ShiokGuy says:

    This is so so funny! Thank for bringing it to us..!

    My little poll at my blog suggests that 88% want it to be 100% English for all Subject except for language.

    Take the poll!

    Shiok Guy

  14. monsterball says:

    hahahahahahaha
    HAHAHAHAHAHA
    Now I am comfortable with my broken English.

  15. TheWrathOfGrapes says:

    Susan, one dated joke deserves another. Enjoy…

    Little Poem Regarding Computer Spell Checkers…

    Eye halve a spelling chequer
    It came with my pea sea
    It plainly marques four my revue
    Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

    Eye strike a key and type a word
    And weight four it two say
    Weather eye am wrong oar write
    It shows me strait a weigh.

    As soon as a mist ache is maid
    It nose bee fore two long
    And eye can put the error rite
    Its rare lea ever wrong.

    Eye have run this poem threw it
    I am shore your pleased two no
    Its letter perfect awl the weigh
    My chequer tolled me sew.

  16. Idzan Ismail says:

    Good one Susan

  17. […] European Commission’s arts « *SUSAN LOONE’s Blog* […]

  18. domino says:

    hiya, why don’t use bahasa malaysia leh?

  19. tunabdulrazak says:

    Bring the 5000 demonstrators to Europe.

  20. billauchris says:

    Every Changing Education Policy

    In 2003, when the announcement was made to teach Mathematics and Science in the English Language, most parents who were concerned with their children’s futures and welfare verily rejoiced. It was indeed a right step in the right direction to foster a Malaysian society founded on science and technology, without which, the country socio-economic progress and development would be lame. The policy change was in accord with the national ideology.

    We extolled and thanked our former PM Mahathir Mohamad for his foresight and telescopic vision. Being a scientist himself, he knew, convinced and convicted deep inside his heart that he must change the paradigm of the rural population and teachers in Malaysia in view of the rapid changes taking place in the West. Advances in information communication technology, telecommunication, bio-technology, nano-technology, nuclear science, agro-technology, to name a few, were amply acknowledged by experts that they would change and greatly impact every human being in the world in the 21st century.

    What I could not understand or fail to fathom that during the past five years, this policy of teaching science and mathematics in English (POTSMIE) was never brought up for review, for adaptation, amendment and improvement. Were there no feedback from those who claim they became mad when they taught the two science subjects in English? Now they saw it fit to walk the street telling the whole country that they were unhappy with the POTSMIE.

    As I see it, the problem does not lie with the policy. The policy is sound. It is the manner in which the policy was implemented that went wrong. I remember at the initial stage, the Government engaged hundreds of English Language teachers from the United Kingdom to teach and improve the language skills of our local teachers in the rural areas so that they could teach the two subjects effectively. What happened?

    Teachers should understand the basic pedagogic principle that it takes both to tango. If the teachers do not wish nor want to learn and master the English Language, there is nothing the Government can do to help them. They are just misfits – square pegs in the round holes. While they choose to be left behind seeing and admiring the technological advances flashing by, it will be a great dis-service to the nation and the growing population to prevent them from moving forward because of your inertia and complacency.

    It must be appreciated that most of the science including mathematics textbooks are written in the English Language. As new theories and principles are established these books need to be updated. To translate these books is no easy task. They need to be updated from time to time. Why do we need to spend so much time, efforts and money to reinvent the wheels when they are already there for all of us to use.

    At this stage, any reversal of the POTSMIE is a sheer retrogressive step. We have to move forward from here. Policy makers should not be influenced by the noise- makers in the streets. There must be wide, in-depth, extensive and rational discussions and debates involving not just academicians and educationists but also the industrialists, professionals, businessmen and NGOs.

    Personally, I am disappointed with the Minister of Education who does not seem to know sufficiently the prevailing philosophies, principles and practices of education deep enough to be able to decide on what is good or bad for the country schools’ children. From what I feel and my guts feeling tells me that while he tries to tell and assure the whole country that the matter is on track, I will not be surprised at all if he is going to put up a proposal to the cabinet just before the UMNO Assembly to reverse the policy back to teaching science and mathematics in Bahasa Malaysia. By playing to the gallery of the generally standofish UMNOputras for his selfish objectives and interests, any policy support arising therefrom is not likely to be beneficial to the country education system in the long run. It will be a negative step forward but three steps backward decision.

    I just cannot imagine the state of confusion if the policy is going to reverse. There must be sufficient science and mathematics teachers who are proficient in both the English and Malay Language to churn out the science and mathematics books. Besides, all efforts in the past will be wasted. But, this does ensure nor guarantee that the disgruntled and complaining teachers from the rural parts of Malaysia are able to teach well the two subjects in Bahasa Malaysia. They need to acquire the appropriate scientific phases, words and peculiar expressions to be able to impart across scientific and mathematical ideas and concepts effectively.

    Well Susan, while I am extremely tickled by your article, let us not complicate and confound further our already confused Education Minister who is under tremendous pressure of the handful of insane rural teachers to reverse the current policy.

  21. billauchris says:

    Ever-Changing Education Policy

    In 2003, when the announcement was made to teach Mathematics and Science in the English Language, most parents who were concerned with their children’s futures and welfare verily rejoiced. It was indeed a right step in the right direction to foster a Malaysian society founded on science and technology, without which, the country socio-economic progress and development would be lame. The policy change was in accord with the national ideology.

    We extolled and thanked our former PM Mahathir Mohamad for his foresight and telescopic vision. Being a scientist himself, he knew, convinced and convicted deep inside his heart that he must change the paradigm of the rural population and teachers in Malaysia in view of the rapid changes taking place in the West. Advances in information communication technology, telecommunication, bio-technology, nano-technology, nuclear science, agro-technology, to name a few, were amply acknowledged by experts that they would change and greatly impact every human being in the world in the 21st century.

    What I could not understand or fail to fathom that during the past five years, this policy of teaching science and mathematics in English (POTSMIE) was never brought up for review, for adaptation, amendment and improvement. Were there no feedback from those who claim they became mad when they taught the two science subjects in English? Now they saw it fit to walk the street telling the whole country that they were unhappy with the POTSMIE.

    As I see it, the problem does not lie with the policy. The policy is sound. It is the manner in which the policy was implemented that went wrong. I remember at the initial stage, the Government engaged hundreds of English Language teachers from the United Kingdom to teach and improve the language skills of our local teachers in the rural areas so that they could teach the two subjects effectively. What happened?

    Teachers should understand the basic pedagogic principle that it takes both to tango. If the teachers do not wish nor want to learn and master the English Language, there is nothing the Government can do to help them. They are just misfits – square pegs in the round holes. While they choose to be left behind seeing and admiring the technological advances flashing by, it will be a great dis-service to the nation and the growing population to prevent them from moving forward because of your inertia and complacency.

    It must be appreciated that most of the science including mathematics textbooks are written in the English Language. As new theories and principles are established these books need to be updated. To translate these books is no easy task. They need to be updated from time to time. Why do we need to spend so much time, efforts and money to reinvent the wheels when they are already there for all of us to use.

    At this stage, any reversal of the POTSMIE is a sheer retrogressive step. We have to move forward from here. Policy makers should not be influenced by the noise- makers in the streets. There must be wide, in-depth, extensive and rational discussions and debates involving not just academicians and educationists but also the industrialists, professionals, businessmen and NGOs.

    Personally, I am disappointed with the Minister of Education who does not seem to know sufficiently the prevailing philosophies, principles and practices of education deep enough to be able to decide on what is good or bad for the country schools’ children. From what I feel and my guts feeling tells me that while he tries to tell and assure the whole country that the matter is on track, I will not be surprised at all if he is going to put up a proposal to the cabinet just before the UMNO Assembly to reverse the policy back to teaching science and mathematics in Bahasa Malaysia. By playing to the gallery of the generally standofish UMNOputras for his selfish objectives and interests, any policy support arising therefrom is not likely to be beneficial to the country education system in the long run. It will be a negative step forward but three steps backward decision.

    I just cannot imagine the state of confusion if the policy is going to reverse. There must be sufficient science and mathematics teachers who are proficient in both the English and Malay Language to churn out the science and mathematics books. Besides, all efforts in the past will be wasted. But, this does ensure nor guarantee that the disgruntled and complaining teachers from the rural parts of Malaysia are able to teach well the two subjects in Bahasa Malaysia. They need to acquire the appropriate scientific phases, words and peculiar expressions to be able to impart across scientific and mathematical ideas and concepts effectively.

    Well Susan, while I am extremely tickled by your article, let us not complicate and confound further our already confused Education Minister who is under tremendous pressure of the handful of insane rural teachers to reverse the current policy.

  22. Joshua says:

    HAHA

    i can’t tell the joke from the real thing – so has EU really accepted English as its official language? ok, ok. so it’s a joke. 8D

  23. miwaki says:

    Finally English becomes German.I like it Susan,you are excellent !

  24. imyfish says:

    at one point, I thought the Queen english was becoming the Malay, then it did a sudden U turn and turned into German….

    and I thought our Education system has problem!! pity those Europeans.

  25. imyfish says:

    hey….

    is this real or a joke?

  26. mazen says:

    English is basically German afterall, rojak with French, Greek, Latin and a bit of Timbaktu words like amok!
    Is there really an original Anglaise word?

  27. wits0 says:

    Some of the oldest words in English have been identified, scientists say.

    Reading University researchers claim “I”, “we”, “two” and “three” are among the most ancient, dating back tens of thousands of years. …..

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7911645.stm

  28. Yassine says:

    zis iz entrteining and funy!

  29. […] European Commission’s English This is a good joke I thought to share with you. It reminds me of all the bruhaha surrounding the protest against […] […]

  30. Akira says:

    brits pepl allredy knt spk r rite inglish enywei

  31. kittykat46 says:

    The English language has never been well received by many people in Europe. French and German have for a long time been the preferred common exchange language, Britain often treated more as a fringe player.

    In the last two decades there has been a tremendous growth in the usage of English in Europe, unavoidably I would say, because many dislike it as a symbol of American economic and technological imperialism.

    A major factor has been the growth of Internet communication. Even though Internet technology caters for almost all major languages, most non-English speakers end up writing in English when they are trying to reach a wider international audience.

  32. novice9 says:

    This…this certainly made me smile. Zank you.

  33. hahaha that was good for destressing.

  34. […] came across a posting called "European Commission Adopts English," in which the author proclaims that certain confusing English sounds were being […]

  35. malaysian says:

    On the PPSMI, we should not abolish PPSMI but instead should abolish our outdated attitudes and mindsets and to stay relevant.If Gomen reeeaaaly cares for the younger generation, they should not abolish PPSMI.If they abolish, Gomen only care for themselves i.e to gain votes in their favour and practise non- democracy in the country.For the future of the young generation, Maths & Science must remained in English and not go U-turn and “gos tan” (reverse gear).What would happen to those kids who have been learning Maths & Science in English for 6 years and if it is reversed now, how are they to cope now in Bahasa Malaysia/Melayu (which one?) from Form 1?Ridiculous, right?Why make it an issue now or each time when there is election coming?Is it politically motivated or really people’s choice.If Pakatan Rakyat is in favour of abolishing PPSMI, then it is not the rakyat’s alliance as they have to respect those rakyat’s who do not want the PPSMI abolished.Now, parents are in a dilemma, really having fear & nightmare because of this issue crop up un expectedly. All bankrupt of ideas, so come up with all kinds of nonsence as excuses.Rakyat fed up!No more trust in any party anymore.Whydid all the politicians send their children overseas to study in English, no problem, but when the majority rakyat want to study in English, they make it into an issue, for their political gains and their religious obligations and missions.When Dr M changed our education to Bahasa Malaysai 23 years ago and forced all of us to live with it, why did he send all his children overseas to study in 100% English? Buat rakyat BODOH (STUPID) anak dia Pandai (clever).Dr m felt threatened that other race are advancing faster and so he play God, changed everything even the time zone, by half an hour earlier, jeopardising the GMT and history.”apa pun boleh FantasyLand” now turning into NeverLand(Peter Pan fantasy story).- supporter of PPSMI

  36. Nanon says:

    Nice post, thanks!

  37. victor teo says:

    have u given credit to clarkson?

  38. victor teo says:

    Why nobody ask Dr M THE REAL REASON for introducing TMASIE?Is it simply to improve standard of English?Or is it because BM,Due to its words having more syllables than English ,eg,”sembilan”has 3 sounds while “nine” has 1.That make BM not so suitable for teaching maths &science.Moktar,a retired court registrar,devised a system whereby “satu”is pronounced as “tu”,dua”as “wa”,”tiga”as “ga”and so on.the good Doctor is extremely smart but he cannot tell the real reason.

  39. Wow,… so English is actually Bahasa Malaysia.

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