Once upon a time, there is a man with no balls. Although some say he’s got more than his share of balls.

He’s looking pretty glum and gloom these days. He’s looking even pissed off at the kind of ding-dong taking place between his ex-boss and his current boss.

All he wants is the prime ministership. He is willing even to abandon his old ally, the former prime minister Mahathir Mohamad, and throw his support behind current PM Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. This lack of backbone irked Mahathir so much that after months of clamouring for Abdullah to resign so this man could take over, the former withdraws support for him and suggests that others could be prime minister, too –  former Finance Minister, Tengku Razaleigh, for example. 

Well, the man with no balls could not careless about this. All he cares about is who is behind the power wheels now.

A word of caution, though. The man with no balls is not to be messed around with. With two of his body guards and most trusted political analyst behind bars, attending trial for an explosive murder of a Mongolian woman, that has no end in sight, one will not want to mess around with the man with no balls.

Contrary to what others think, he does not look glum or gloom or glim these days for no reason. He is neither confused nor is he afraid. He is calculating his next move, his every move. His trophy, his dream, may just be a breath away. if he breathes too hard, it may all vaporise…like a blast after a dose of C4 expletives.

In any case, the man with no balls may be losing patience, but he is not impatient.

He schemes behind the power lines. Outwardly, in public, he throws his undying support behind Abdullah. The man is said to be ‘sleepy’ and a ‘softy’ and would surely not take notice of his mastery in delusions. He then conspires with Mahathir (as the older man has drawn much from his father’s FAVOUR BANK. The older man needs to pay back whatever he owed. Never mind that the lender is long dead and gone. The older man can do it through the lender’s offspring). The two come up with a plan. The older man will deny him in public and distances himself.

Abdullah, seeing this, prides himself in thinking that he had won after all. He feels now that it is safe to declare the other his deputy. So he makes his declaration and even publicly announce that he will retire soon (he will not overstay).  He is of course taking the opportunity as well to insult the older man for staying 22 long years as prime minister.

But pride comes before a downfall. And after sleep comes a staggering shock. Abdullah, who when he awakes finally one day, if he awakes, will find himself the biggest fool. Not alone, of course, but together with about 27 million other fools that inhabit Malaysia.

Why is he the man with no balls? I leave the answer to you.



77 responses »

  1. That man might make his move end of this year, during or after UMNO’s General Assembly. 🙂

  2. Narayan says:

    He must the greatest schemer. In the list of Machiveliian politics, this man is like BRUTUS, but in that Story BRUTUS did not succced CEASER, Mark Anthony did.? So I Muhyddin the other so called friend , quickly graps the seat of friends when BRUTUS only gets to kill….

    Wonderful DRAMA in Malaysia – Should be wonderful skits for Actor Studio, Comedy Court etc.. Malaysian Theather you should be getting all the tragedy comedy and who knows it may be as good as a Bollywood block buster Sholay

  3. Should there be a prime minister with ‘no balls’
    He’ll be labelled the ‘ballless’ prime minister
    I’ll be more worried if the prime minister lacks gall
    And dwell in matters big or small that are so sinister

    (C) Samuel Goh Kim Eng – 080408
    Tue. 8th April 2008.

  4. Please read ‘dwell’ as ‘dwells’ in my above comment. Thanks.

    Samuel Goh Kim Eng – 080408
    Tue. 8th April 2008.

  5. ghenjis khan says:

    has there been a surge in Fish Ball Mee Hoon soup ?

    Susan, don’t forget Altantuya ….

  6. tzarina says:

    Aiyaaah Susan,

    This man’s balls are being tightly held by Badawi ler…
    Badawi must have something big against Najib to be holding his balls. Maybe something to do with C4??

  7. Ong Ting Ting says:

    Who says he has no balls? He did have balls then. But he uses it to beat up the poor girl from Mongolia. He even stuff it with C4 and let his Fat wife enjoy for a while before using it to blow Altantuya up\

    Now he has no balls, but I heard there are ball transplant and cost up to 250 million ringgit for each ball. There goes the 500 million commission. It is a Zero sum game.

    They say Zero is the son of Milo
    They also say that people now wants to be Stylo Gylo and have big balls.

    I think ball transplant would be big business. Now that the USA economy is faltering, balls would be big business.

    My Balls Lah. Phack Lah.

  8. jtduitirt says:

    Who says he has got no balls? He just has a couple of C4 grenades dangling in the place where his balls ought to be

  9. thinkvision says:

    In a far away land, a country existed only in a parallel world there was an old but wise man. He was given a task to create 4 men who will one day lead a small but somewhat prosperous country called Malaysia. His task was made much more difficult by the fact that the 4 men must share the following availability of physical and psychological traits:

    1. 0 balls, 1 balls, 2 balls and 3 balls
    2. 0% brain, 50% brain, 100% brain, 200% brain
    3. Sleepy, Emotional, Horny, Charismatic

    He had many sleepless nights on how to put together the combination but finally he succeeded after some trial and error with one of the parallel world.

    His results were:

    1. First man needs to be powerful and autocratic, so he needs 3 balls, 100% brain power to get the country out of the financial crisis, emotional wreck that sometimes sob, laugh and tongue-lashing his disciples to add some drama to the often boring political scene.

    2. Second man needs to be normal with 2 balls, have very decent close-knit family; have 200% brain in order to plot and scheme on political survival after being sent to hell for some “trumped-up charges” and he needs to be super charismatic in order to pull a “back from hell stunt”.

    3. Third man needs to be slightly better than a moron but not so much a genius, so 50% brain will do. Since he is not so smart, he does not need to have a pair of balls. One is more than enough since idiot and ‘lembik’ go hand-in-hand. Sleepy head is just a natural progression for such a person.

    4. Finally for the fourth man, he was left with no other meaningful options. The man will be created with no balls and no brain. So he came up with a brilliant idea! Why not made a woman with 2 balls and 100% brain to accompany him? In order to seduce this particular woman, he will be made the horniest man alive. That’s a good combination, he thought.

    Finally he named them:

    1. Mahathir
    2. Anwar
    3. Pak Lah
    4. Najib
    5. Since some of the above need a balls carrier, he paused for a while and finally decided to have a balls carrier . . . . . . . . . . . . . called KuLi.

  10. ANg Kong says:

    no balls? i would say it’s the opposite.
    we can shout and jump up and down for all we want (the same applies to mahadir), at the end of the day.. he will still be the DPM….soon, he may be the PM b4 we know it.

    he’s keeping his patience/silence, otherwise he risks exposing some weaknesses and let enemies/oppositions exploit to the full extend. He is a dam good poker player i tell you.

    if he dares turn his back on bada-wee, am pretty sured the whole UMNO will drawn the keris on him.

  11. Ong Ting Ting says:

    What the Naik Jeep fella should say…

    I pun support Phaklah, He looks like a Prime Minister, sounds like a Prime Minister, sleeps like a Prime Minister, but is he the Prime Minister?

    If I don’t support him, who do I support? Mat Deh?

    Comeon Lah, you people, Am I born yesterday?. Of course lah in front of Phack Lah, I surely say support 110 %.

    But you tengok sendiri lah gambar I kat surat khabar. mata saya sengitlah.

    I sekarang tengok Phack Lah lebih teruk pada masa orang India tengok Sami Villo pergi meeting tak di jemput.

    macam mata boleh makan orang lah.

    You orang tak nampak ke?

    Lembik Lah….

  12. Ong Ting Ting says:

    Why PhackLah should carry on…

    1. How is he going to Australia without the official aeroplane to ferry him around?

    2. Will his wife leave him? He will officially be a unemployed individual. In this land there is no welfare one. Difficult and who is going to support his wife now that she has acquired a taste for expensive living.

    3. Who is paying for the house instalment?

    4. How about transport. Has he bought his own wheels.

    5. How about his retirement fund? Has Raymond Chan Wei Mun sold him some unit trusts?

    6. How about Scomi. How are they going to continue getting contracts?

    7. How about the Monsoon cup. Who is going to carry on the event?

    8. How about all the corridors? There will be quarry but no doors. Lets stop here for a minute and talk about Doors…

    There was this Madhouse in Tampoi where all the inmates have IQ above 160. The whole bunch claims that they were there becos they cannot fit into the society where the average IQ is 96.

    One day a doctor came and did a test on the inmates. He drew a “door” with a door knob on a whitewash wall and asked the inmates to try to open it. Whoever can open it will get to eat KFC, curry me and laksa.

    Every one rush to the door and try to open it. Some tried to open the door knob and some banged their head on to the “door” to no avail.

    There was a sleepy guy sitting all alone quietly by himself and did not try anything.

    The doctor came and asked him why?

    He came close to the doctor and whispered…. I have the key lah.

    They you go…. Corridor… north, south, east and west. Better think again. The sleepy man has a plan… He has the KEY…

  13. Edi神 says:

    Balless…. That’s cruel!
    He might accidentally cut his balls with that keris!

  14. Hkengmacao says:


    When you say ‘no balls’, why ‘no’ still got ‘s’ leh? Maybe you meant by got balls but not real balls.

    Am I right?

  15. caravanserai says:

    No balls don’t get fooled
    In ancient China Eunuchs ruled
    So this man with no balls
    He knows how to play

    He lets you go freely
    No obstruction no objection
    You feel so comfortable living near his shadow
    He doesn’t make you small
    He makes you bigger in your eyes
    And you think the world of him

    He plots his game
    Telling clear cut messages
    He walks behind the power
    He lets you know he doesn’t go for it

    He is willing to stay
    Behind the throne
    And let you decree
    Until such time when he finds
    The way for him to pin you down
    Then you realize too late
    The scheming mind waits its time

    You have announced publicly
    He has got you into his traps
    Slowly you can’t deny it
    He knows you know what is about

    The trials of deceit
    Lies and deception playing up the power game
    The guy with no balls
    He sings climbing up his stairs
    He learned it well from his father
    ‘Patience my boy
    It brings you the throne!’

    Unless the 3rd wave hit the shore
    The equation will change dramatically
    The guy with no balls will scream
    Loudly in the upper floor
    ‘It can’t be happening to me
    This is my ship waiting patiently’

  16. NO FEAR says:

    HAHAHA…good one. His balls is put side by side with C4 and Pak Lah is holding the remote control. Dream on…to be the next leader. Phui phui…

  17. Bobby New Zealand says:

    Susan, Pak Lah got balls for sure. I am certain they are still intact. That’s why he hasnt slam the ISA on the expremier who bad mouth him. Probably those who bad mouthed the expremier and ended up being sacked, “cold storaged” or imprisioned could fill the 88 storeys of Petronas tower. It’s the expremier who has lost his “nuts” and his foul mouth betrays a frustrated heart. That’s why he needs so get his heart operated so often. Wow I am learning his style of logic reasoning!

  18. sam says:

    This is a disgusting site!

  19. unilight says:

    All you people are really very clever, all of you have really nailed the guy with no balls with no evidence and no proof. If thats the case we need no court to try him, oops! the judiciary has become a joke, so we just sentence him… chance of him being the PM, that is the sentence. We wish!

  20. the people's court says:

    Well! Whether got balls or no balls it’s ok, as long as he could manage the country well. Just like whether it’s a white cat or black cat, as long as it catches mouse then it’s a good cat.

    But it’s not ok if you associate yourself with a traitor like Eli of Pkr. It’s the law, you have to go to jail if you mix with the PJ traitor.

  21. the lanjau says:

    AI has also got no balls, if AI got balls, AI would have sacked this Eli the Bkt Lanjau traitor already.

  22. the lanjau girl says:

    Pkr is a lanjau party but with no balls- thanks to Eli the lanjau’s girl from bkt lanjau with no balls for a penchant of PJ traitor with no balls. just like Dap which is also a eunuch party waith no balls. They are all eunuchs like Najib without balls.

    Only mahathir got balls, but like the monsterball’s balls. Mahathir’s balls are black with small lanjau. But eli likes mahathir’s black lanjau minus the black monsterballs.

  23. nmjg says:

    Hi, Susan, who are the ones who have no balls? Well, I would consider all those in power, who stole billions of RAKYAT’s money by using NEP as a decoy, who abused their power by interfering the ACA’s investigation, who are willing to tell lies in the court whenever their superiors instruct them to do so, who are so greedy and pocketed Billions of commission through weapons purchase and mega projects etc, their descendants will reap the fruits from all their bad KARMA for many many generations to come.

  24. Kherry Scarry says:

    Cannot imagine our next PM was the person involved in the picture with the “CT4 bomb and immigration vanished” Mongolian lady that already made known to the world news. Do we want this kind of PM to lead us…???

    Any investigation on why the data in the Immigration Dept was erased ??? Whose instruction ??

  25. Ahmad Navi Abdullah says:

    The man has no balls as they are in KJ’s pocket. Yet he is deep and Susan might yet be right,

  26. bamboo river says:

    Dangling balls. I still could recall during my childhood days, we used to play dangling balls.
    Two hard plastic balls strung up by a string. You hold the center of the string and swing the balls up wards. While the balls will struck each other upwards and downwards.
    I think this toy was a craze that time and made in Thailand.

    The man with no balls is like the dangling balls toy.
    Upwards and downwards it will still strike and make a lot of noise.
    Only if the balls are made of steel….that would be a different story altogether.

  27. dodgy inc says:

    No balls, cannot contribute to the future,
    No balls, Rosmah’s children must be illegitimate,
    No balls, can not have the economy’s ball rolling

    No balls, since it get stuck inside the Mongolian girl’s throat.
    So No balls’ brain tries to get it out by blowing up with C4
    Mahathir found out No balls cannot erect his Racist Agenda,
    He dumps for a stooge with artificial balls.

  28. Andrew says:

    He has no balls because eighties close up television footage of him talking showed very moist lips. So much so, they resembled a talking pussy, together with well trimmed pubes masquerading as a moustache.

  29. He is a “BALLs” guy:


    Or would it be another “Pied Piper of Umnobutas”…

  30. Yi Gan says:

    So much of bad comment on this man with no balls.
    All laughing at him, spit at him, and ridicule him.
    But behold, I am not too sure who will have the last laugh.

    Man with no balls is swallowing all abusive words that most blogs thrown at him.
    He has been very quiet.
    But what can you do.
    He played with C4, he collected the kickback.
    So what, where is your prove.
    Apart from shouting, what else can you do.
    BTW shouting will not kill a man.
    If the man holding his balls don’t act.
    Very soon everything will be over.
    Man with no balls now, will have the biggest balls restored.
    He will be your next PM.
    See who is laughing then ?

  31. wits0 says:

    Borrowing something from Star War:

    The Dark side of the Force(in terms of entitlement expectation to premiership) is strong in this one.

    Yea, right from the start.

  32. R.A.H.M.A.N.

    In this sequence,if “no balls” can succeed “another 1/2ball”
    then I can only compute it as…..
    Nothingness succeeds Anarchy.

  33. the gories says:

    When it comes to ‘makan suap’, Najib got big balls. Sukhoi and Scorpene gave big commissions to Najib because Najid’s balls were huge.

    Sukhoi 47

    Primeros Submarinos de Sur America

  34. fucai says:

    najib – susan most hated man!!

  35. birdbrain says:

    Can a leopard without spots be called a leopard?
    Can an elephant without trunk be called an elephant?
    Can a man without balls be called a man? Miaow………

  36. Ancut Nyamai says:

    I am at no time saying that AAB is a reformist or has outdo any of Mahathir’s misrule, but to has Najib as a replacer, expect more “Altantuyas” and impunities. Trust me, the “evils” is in the making in the absence of our knowledge.

  37. Such a backboneless man should not be our next PM.
    Let us have Tengku Razaleigh as the next PM.
    And if he is like the both or one of them – sack him as well.

  38. Scott Thong says:

    23rd poster from top. Enjoy while it lasts – the blogs will be strangled as soon as he steps into the office.

    Malaysian Politics Motivational Posters

  39. Khairy Kemulutin says:

    Wah! C4 use, lost ball now keep quiet
    Want to be PM, all kind of shit can accept one kah?
    Where got principle onelah.
    I think ball with Khairy aka Monyet.
    How to struggle now?

  40. wits0 says:

    “najib – susan most hated man!!”

    Izzat so?

    The facts remains that he isn’t being admired or possesses any quality that appeals except perhaps from his hardcore followers for self-serving reasons.

  41. borneopeteliew says:

    Both his balls are in Rosmah’s mouth leh…

  42. . says:

    To be honest, I can’t even reasoned it out that I have been so addicted to Susan Loone’s blog, in what she writes, her charismatic skills in humour, etc. etc. It’ s just like Maria Sharapova to the tennis fan and Josh Harnett to the fantasizing girls out there. It surely worked Susan, it surely worked…..

    Wow Susan, U r like a “Matahari”. =) Have you ever “dated” any movie stars?

  43. wits0 says:

    Come on, Matahari was a spy and flaunted her body often. Surely Susan is not a spy and she does not show off her body for gaining influence and publicity! Hahahha!

  44. . says:

    Ahhhh, wits0, you must have amnesia or oblivious to Susan’s own admission in FSZ (1). Teased by a commenter whether she was a spy, she replied “I am
    a Matahari” and went on “You got it?” 😀 Hahaha.

  45. A Married Man believes that Married Men cheats.


  46. KLMAN says:

    OMG! Cant imagine C4 being the PM.
    Susan you should change your motto
    `May the truth save us all’ to `May
    GOD save all Malaysians’.

  47. amoker says:

    these ball comments is make me roll me over laughing.

  48. wits0 says:
    Take a break, let Najib run the show
    Muda Mohd Noor | Apr 9, 08 5:05pm

    Go on leave – this is the message put across by 20 Umno division leaders in Johor to their embattled president – Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi


    Translated : Let go the Fart go and let the Sh*t appear!
    Finest and most logical solution.

  49. dodgy inc says:

    No balls, “A Misinterpreted Truth,
    No balls, happened at the height of submarine affairs,
    No balls, represented Malaysia at top of table manoeuvre,
    No balls’ under the table manoeuvre taken care by the Mongolian girl,

    No balls, uttered too many “Lagi”(More in English) words, top of the table,
    No balls’ under the table Mongolian girl misinterpreted, drive deep into her throat,

    No balls stuck 2 important events that day, one submarine affair for Malaysia, another “deep throat” affair for Rosmah,

    No balls and his under the table partner need to be carried out of the meeting room in unison and together with the table and table cloth, of course,

    No balls uttered his HP6(half pass six) Cantonese word “Say Four” (trouble in English),
    No balls using Rosmah’s bodyguard that day misinterpreted using C4 to dislodge “deep throat”
    Hence ended “A Misinterpreted Truth” of No balls, Mongolian Girl and C4

  50. aston says:

    New Cabinet:

    Prime Minister – Anwar

    Deputy Prime Minister – Lim Kit Siang

    Culture Minister – Farish Noor

    Defence Minister –

    Education Minister – Nga Kor Ming

    Environment Minister – Teresa Kok

    Finance Minister – Tony Pua

    Foreign Minister – Ramasamy

    Health Minister –

    Home Minister – Ronnie Liu

    Information Minister – Jeff Ooi

    Law Minister – Teng Chang Khim

    Manpower Minister –

    Sports Minister –

    Technology Minister –

    Trade Minister –

    Transport Minister – Liew Chin Tong

    (Penang Chief Minister – Lim Guan Eng)

  51. wits0 says:

    Not so long ago in France, at the launch of the Scorpene sumarine, the said one addressed a group of Malaysian and told them that we’re great.

    He was correct, you know, we are indeed….to work for a regime change via the ballot box!

  52. Facts says:

    got balls, no balls?? balls, balls, balls here and there…… ok, stop guessing and let me tell you all….. He’s got SQUARE BALL!!!

  53. limkamput says:

    This Susan got balls??

  54. dodgy inc says:

    Ridicule our politicians with relative impunities is a sign of maturity in democracy of our country,

    Ridicule No balls and he can still remain erected, not so sure which part. He deserves our respect,

    Ridicule Mahathir aka the Hitler’s face changed is a cry for justice,

    Ridicule George Bush by “The Simpsons” makes Hollywood richer,

    Ridicule any politicians in the west makes advertising company richer,

    Ridicule certain religion, you are a dead man

  55. Margeemar says:

    The BN government is increasingly looking like the Titanic. The mud slinging going on between Badawi, Mahathir and Razaleigh is leaving the BN regime in tatters. This is not helped by spineless individuals like Nazri Aziz and Zahid Hamidi who would cheer on anyone who is PM but immediately chastise the individual once he is no longer PM. (Remember, dear Mahathir and Badawi, “Melayu mudah lupa”.) Then, we have the Ong brothers from MCA talking trash while MIC and Gerakan are busy re-inventing themselves in circles.

    We also hear that document and files have gone missing in states ruled by Pakatan Rakyat. Personally if you asked me, I don’t trust the BN government, the Police, the Judiciary, the AG, the Elections Commission and the civil service.

    Due to this, I believe that Pakatan Rakyat must not waste any time to form the government. The BN government is now falling from within. If we as a nation don’t bail out from this spiral, we as a nation may end up in the abyss with Badawi and Company! We must have regime change by having a PR government in place. We must not let the BN regime stay in power for another 5 years because by the time the next GE comes, the nations wealth would have been stripped clean and all evidence involving the sins of the BN regime would have been wiped clean by then.

    Some people are against the crossing over of elected BN reps to PR. They feel this is a betrayal of the voter’s trust. What I would like to suggest is why not, come April 28, if there are any BN MP’s who are disillusioned and dissatisfied with the BN regime, they can declare themselves as Independent MP’s and join the 82 PR MP’s in passing a motion of no confidence on Badawi and his government.

    I think His Majesty the Yang Dipertuan Agung, would not consent for another GE. Rather, the 82 PR MP’s can form a Minority government. Infact, this government can also go on to be a Government of National Reconciliation by having not only the Independent MP’s with them but also BN MP’s as well, so long as they are clean.

    Therefore, there is no need to wait for Datuk Seri Anwar to get to Parliament for this to happen. With Datuk Seri Anwar by her side, I’m sure Leader of the Opposition, Datin Seri Dr. Wan Azizah will make a good PM. Time is of the essence. We must not let this opportunity slip away. Go for regime change now!

  56. Anak Perlis says:

    All right… Lets us have Rafidah as the next prime minister. She is one tough lady, who has shown that she has more “balls” than the rest.

  57. Rafidah Aziz says:

    Must I have two balls before I could be said to have balls?

  58. Soccer Fan says:

    This “ballish” affair is getting out of hand!

  59. Cowboy says:

    That is a picture of a cow showing off her tits! Don’t you know the difference??

  60. limkamput says:

    How could she know the difference? She has yet to see one (or should I say two).

  61. . says:

    Which one is Stenson undercover? 😉

  62. dodgy inc says:

    One day, No balls’ brain came up with a campaign slogan (a close adage of Abraham Lincoln quote) he thought it may entice more women voters in the forthcoming “erection”.

    Here goes,

    “You may ball all the women some of the time, you can even ball some of the women all of the time, but you cannot ball all of the women all the time and not getting “deep throat” balls in women.”

  63. Bobby New Zealand says:

    Rafidah should be the next PM for Malaysia !!! She has made the most interesting statement I have heard so far.

  64. Sam says:

    Stop blackballing her!

  65. bamboo river says:

    I am laughing my balls off reading all these comments !

  66. Dancer says:

    Ok go have a ball at my expense!

  67. Linesman says:

    That was a hand ball!

  68. KLMAN says:

    As it crossed anyones imagination that the
    picture looks like Rafidah Aziz when the
    cabinet post were announced?

  69. rosli ali says:

    Indira gandhi, Benazir Bhutto, Golda Meir and others were all prime ministers of their countries. And none of them have balls either…..

  70. Malaysian says:

    Don’t forget Badawi our own prime minister. He too doesn’t have any.

  71. dodgy inc says:

    @Malaysian, you are wrong, Badawi still has balls, only slight overcooked. Need to do a lot of night overtime with Jean.Hahaha

  72. ?????? says:

    No……Badawee’s ball is being kept by Jenny. Ask her to return it and let badawee make some simple decision and then she can taki it back and play again. Hishambutok and KJ’s ball is now shrinked!!! So is Najid Mongolia. Soon they will join badawee.

  73. limkamput says:

    Say banyeak suka itu lembu susu!

  74. […] also Do you want Najib as your next PM? and Can the man with ‘no balls’ be prime minister? for much more rotten-nuttiness […]

  75. raja mangali says:

    I like your assh** gal!

  76. […] also Do you want Najib as your next PM? and Can the man with ‘no balls’ be prime minister? for Susan Loone’s […]

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