You tried to take the Malaysian out of me…

YOU tried to seize the Malaysian out of me
When you ripped open my heart, with your racist fangs
YOU sucked my rainbow colored blood, chewed on my patience
And my tolerance
YOU told my neighbours, I am the enemy living next door
That I have sticks and stones and swords and guns
YOU whispered that I am a Communist out to maim them
That I am a terrorist out to bomb them
A fanatic Christian out to proselytise?
Would they ever be safe?
My neighbours believed YOU
They chanted along with your incantations
And while YOU invoked the memory of deaths, bloods and tears
They build a wall to reach the sky around me
They held on to their weapons, build barricades with their languages
Raised boulders with their cultures
While religion and race became their shield against my good intentions
They were prepared to go to war
To shoot, to slice, to kill
Believing that violence and hatred, are their only safe habour…

It made no difference that this too is the land
Upon which I was born; these skies were the first to hear my infant’s cry;
The red angsana trees and swaying palms
Rejoiced with the wind when I was given a name
This is where my blood would spill willingly
Where I would be buried at the ends of my days.

But the Malaysian in me fought back
My Merdeka spirit rammed into the walls of fear
My tears rained on the cobwebs of lies and suspicion
My neighbours must see my face, hear my voice, and feel my touch
To know we are not different; that I love them as my own
Though our colors vary, we struggled through the same history,
We suffered beneath the sword of the ONE oppressor
That to fight each other would strengthen the dictator

I must tell my neighbours that I would lay down my life for them;
That I would fight their battles, but they must be courageous too and
Stand by my side
That I would fight injustice, corruption, collusion
To see their generation prosper
But I need them to trust me, as I trust them
To tell them have faith
When a new dawn breaks over our dark skies
We would clasp our hands as Malaysians
No longer the enemy that we always thought
Were hiding behind the battle lines.

Happy Merdeka, yes! But first, merdeka from our own selfish selves!

* Merdeka = Independence in Malay.

Fun read: Niamah’s Teohlogy

Teohlogy! I’m glad I have the book. And I’m glad it is not a book about religion. But a bit about history, a reminder of current affairs past, since 2005 to be exact. Written by Patrick Teoh and published by my fave publisher ZI Publications. Thanks for another book, Lori Lee!

The book has 303 pages including glossary and is actually a collection of articles (from 2005-2010) previously published in the now defunct OFF THE EDGE magazine. I met Patrick only once, at the All Blogs Inaugural meeting in KL in April 2007. I heard him speak in person, and I can hear the same funny, provocative voice when I read Teohlogy. Great isn’t it.

Anyway, Patrick is a famous blogger too, and he blogs at Niamah! In his blog, he states his occupation as ‘actor’. Yup, he acted in one of the 15Malaysia short film called Slovak Sling by Woo Ming Jin. He is a fine and funny actor alright, and a good writer, too. Not to mention being a nice hubby who always mentions his wife in his blog, etc. No regrets reading this book

In 2005, the PRIME MINISTER then was Pak Lah @ Abdullah Ahmad Badawi who won the 2004 elections with flying colors. It was also the year that the Barisan Alternative (DAP+PAS+PKR) was ‘thrashed to pieces’.

If you read each chapter carefully, if you ponder deeply into each Malaysian plight that Teoh highlights in his book, you would probably realise that these were the issues that led to BN’s poor perfomannce a.k.a the political tsunami of 2008. But alas, it’s 2011 now lah. And nothing much has changed. Why ah?

If teohlogy is a book on religion and Patrick is god, you are already speaking to a convert. His grouses happen to be my grouses, too. Like it is for many others. Only that Teoh manages to say it in a much more humurous, witty and Malaysian way!

In a nut-shell, these are some of the points he highlights – things that depresses every Malaysians, and yet are the things that pull us together:

1. Upside down Malaysia-pay first, quality later- leads to mediocrity. 2. Tsunami 2004 and caring Malaysians – it seems people have to die first before anyone/someone cares enough to do something to improve the situation. 3. Flip-flopping, inaction and unaccountability on the part of those who hold power, politicians.

4. All the country’s a stage, right here in Malaysia. Real comedians can’t make money these days. The politicians have beat them to it. 5. On page 40, Malaysians get a shelling off from Teoh for not doing things for themselves, for expecting too much and complaining all the time.

6. Malaysia has the most laughable but empty slogans. 7. Visiting our neighbours (Singapore, Indonesia) and feeling so ashamed but it’s nice that Pat takes it upon himself to do better in this country than wallowing in self pity or disgust. Read pg. 72.

8. The recurring grouses in this book centres around transport woes. 8. The silliness of some government policies, for example, creating little Arabia in Bukit Bintang KL. But tourists leave their homes to experience life, art and culture in another land, or else why leave at all???

9. Current PM Najib Razak (then deputy PM) asking then Penang Chief Minister Koh Tsu Koon to prove he is CM for all races. Isn’t Sowing seeds of mistrust among the races, or better still among BN component parties? 10. Any many, many more sharing…go buy the book if you are curious to know more lah!

Actually, it can be quite a pain to read Teohlogy-lah, being reminded of all the problems we as Malaysians collectively face. But it does refresh our minds that these are also the very same issues that bring us together as one nation.

Good read: Operation Nasi Kerabu by Zan Azlee

Zan Azlee’s “Operation Nasi Kerabu: Finding Patani in an Islamic Insurgency” – is a book about the author finding himself in the lives of his fellow Malay/Muslim community living in neighbouring Thailand. It is a candid and honest eyewitness account of how ordinary people like us live in a war zone.

I had visited Narathiwat before, and could relate to some of the things Zan writes in his 111-paged book, which comes with a free DVD! The book was published in May 2011, by ZI Publications. Thank to Lori Lee for the complimentary book!

Zan’s documentary on the subject was due to be screened on Malaysian TV but alas! it was banned by the Prime Minister’s office. The documentary was supposed to be on the Malay community and their survival to keep their Malay/Muslim heritage alive. “It was the last kind of content that we had thought would scare our keris wielding Malay leaders” says a disappointed Zan on page 105.

It wasn’t Zan’s or anyone’s fault but the timing was wrong. At that point of time, or a few months before hand, Thai PM Abhisit had requested Najib Razak’s assistance in sorting out the problems in Southern Thailand. So we can’t have a book that would spoil the fun for Najib, can we? So the written word again becomes a victim of a larger political game. Sigh.

But the positive part of it all is that we now have a book and DVD to savour and enjoy! This was a book I finished in one day, partly because it was rather interesting and I wanted to know all the details all at once.

Turning the first few chapters, one can feel Zan’s tension as he is met with soldiers at checkpoints, immigration officers, familiar scenes of a war zone when he first drives into the area. We also come to know of his aspiration to be like Sean Langan, a famous war reporter, which prompted Zan in the first place to take on such risky but adventurous assignments.

In his book, Zan often provides an insight into how Thais perceive the media in Malaysia, or how it treats it journalists. “The Thai government is actually very liberal and respectful towards journalists, not as bad as Malaysia, huh?” is what Zan’s guide (or fixer, as he calls the Thai reporter – Daniya) says to the author.

On page 11, Zan summarises how he feels about the conflict area: “The danger I had expected was hugely exaggerated by my imagination (and the international news media). People were friendly and the authorities did their best to protect civilians”. – Yes, I must agree that is how I felt too after visiting Narathiwat!

From Pages 12-15, the reader would be introduced to a bit of a history lesson on Southern Thailand. It’s narrated in a very organised manner, without going too much into details. Don’t forget Zan is a lecturer too, so he knows how to maintain the interest of his students/readers in the topic. In these chapters, we also get to know the key players in the conflict and about former Prime Minister Thaksin’s handling of the deep south which perhaps, had worsened the situation then. Zan also related briefly about the power struggle between the police and army and ineffective Muslim leaders, who collectively contributed to a complicated situation.

Through his observation and interviews with Pattani’s ordinary folks, one can see, as Zan pointed out, that there are many bored, restless local youths, poverty stricken, who are willing to confront the authority “when their lives boil over”. His interviewees come from people from all walks of lives – students, teachers, religious people, business folks – but voices we have never heard in the local or international news. These are voices of survival, hope, faith and love – that the human spirit is resilient, strong, and enduring.

Turning more pages, I felt that while Zan may not intend to compare, he offers glimpses of comparison between Malaysian and Thailand in several aspects, for example: in Thailand, authorities are friendlier to journalists; roads are better, no need to pay toll; and different gender roles – women work and men support them with their labour.

It’s refreshing to see so many photos of the going-ons in Pattani interspersed between the pages, makes it a little like a travel book, only that the destination is a war zone! In using these photos, Zan cleverly puts a human face to his stories, and that is a very brilliant way of helping his readers stay on focus.

In the course of his interviews, we also realise the uncertainty of the people about who and what is behind all the violence that plagues their daily lives: it could be “insurgents, militants or criminals”, they tell Zan.

What I find interesting because I am a journalist, too, and can relate to the fact that when we are in the midst of working on a news coverage, most of us feel like Zan. We are sometimes challenged to remain independent, objective, unbias, especially in the face of violence. These feelings Zan shares with us when visiting the controversial 500 year old Kru Se Mosque (in chapter 6 (page 60). “Which side do you take? And who possibly has the right to evaluate and evaluate evil?”. In 2004, this place was splashed with blood, the military stormed into the building and took 32 lives. Too terrifying a story to tell.

On page 89, Zan is again confronted with the question of journalism when Daniya talks to him about “peace journalism”. “Does it fit with journalistic principles of objectivity? Where is the line between journalist and activists? One has the responsibility to report. The other has an agenda, however philanthropic it may be”.

But then I wanted to laugh out when I read Daniya’s perception of the Malaysian media (he works for some of the local media here as well). He said “we really trust the Malaysian media because it is honest” (page 90). What an irony! which Zan would later elaborate in Chapter 12, the final part.

Intentionally or otherwise, when discussing about Southern Thailand, Zan manages to share his thoughts on Malaysia’s current political situation which strikes a cord in most Malaysians – where he briefly mentions issues like the Allah ban on Christians, cases of conversion of Muslims to Christianity (famous Lina Joy case), the Internal Security Act and not forgetting the popular Malay phrase: Takkan Melayu Hilang di Dunia.

Lastly, Zan writes about a serious topic in Operation Nasi Kerabu, but he doesn’t waffle on it but sprinkles lots of little humour that makes us see the human side of the episodes inside his book. One hilarious moment which got me laughing was his discovery of a very “old and sad looking Umno flag” in one Kampong Datuk. Daniya asked him (I think quite earnestly) “That is the flag of Keadilan, right?” (Page 68).

HAHAHA! That is Zan Azlee for you. A promising writer, broadcaster and journalist. You can read more of Zan here and know that he has produced several documentary feature films and have screened his independent documentaries in countries like Singapore, Bangkok, Berlin and New York, other than Malaysia.

Don’t play play ya…he is quite a distinguish fella, so go buy his book now! and Happy Reading